Sexual assault, rape, consent and the law

Common myths about sexual assault / rape

There are many myths and untruths about sexual assault and sexual abuse / rape. These myths can make it hard for people to recover because they tend to blame the victim and defend or excuse the behaviour of the perpetrator.

Myth: Rape is about sex.
Rape is not about sex. It’s about power, violence and intimidation. This belief minimises the responsibility of the rapist.

Myth: Most sexual assaults occur at night in dark alleys away from others.
Many sexual assaults occur during the day and often in the homes of the people involved. They can also take place in a car or vehicle (including public transport), workplace, school, social venue or religious institution.

Myth: Most sexual assaults are committed by strangers.
8 out of 10 victims of sexual assault are assaulted by someone they know.

Myth: Women who wear revealing clothes are asking to be sexually assaulted.
No one asks or deserves to be sexually assaulted. Women dress to feel comfortable and attractive. They are not dressing to be assaulted.

Myth: Nice women don’t get raped.
There is actually no such thing as a particular kind of woman who gets raped. Women of all ages, classes, races, religions and marital status are raped.

Myth: When a woman says no, she really means yes or that she enjoyed it or even that she asked for it.
Rape is a deeply humiliating and terrifying experience that no woman ever asks for or enjoys.

Myth: Rape is accepted in Aboriginal culture.
No culture finds rape acceptable.

Myth: Men rape because they get sexually aroused and can’t control themselves.
Many rapists have admitted to planning the rape ahead of time. This myth takes responsibility away from the actions of the perpetrator.

Myth: Men cannot be sexually assaulted.
1 in 25 men and 1 in 6 women in Australia over the age of 15 will experience sexual assault violence sometime in their life. The majority of perpetrators are male. 97% of sexual assault offenders recorded by police in 2018 – 19 were male. (Sexual Assault in Australia, Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, 2020)

Myth: A man can’t be sexually assaulted by a woman.
Although men are much more likely to be sexually assaulted by another man/men, some are assaulted by a woman/women.

Myth: A man who sexually assaults another man is gay.
Men who sexually assault other men are usually straight and can be in a relationship with a woman. Sexual assault is about the use of power and control, not about sexual attraction.

Myth: Women make false reports of sexual assault.
Very few people falsely report sexual assault. Research indicates that only 2% – 10% of reports are false and many of these are dropped. Women are more likely to deny or minimise sexual assault experiences than to make them up. (Source: True or false? The contested terrain of false allegations, Australian Institute of Family Studies, 2021)

Myth: If a male victim became erect or ejaculated then he must have wanted or enjoyed the sex.
Erection and ejaculation are normal male bodily responses to physical stimulus. This cannot be controlled. It does not mean he wanted or enjoyed the experience. Sex without consent is a sexual assault.

Myth: Women enjoy being sexually assaulted.
Any form of sexual violence is a frightening and humiliating experience during which the person has no control over what happens. No one enjoys an experience like that.

Myth: If a person did not scream or fight or has no injury, it could not have been a sexual assault.
Despite what you might see on TV, most people do not scream or fight. This is because they freeze. It’s a common reaction for people to become paralysed with fear.

Myth: Rohypnol is used to spike drinks.
Most sexual assaults involving a drink spike involve excess alcohol, not drugs.

Myth: Men who are sexually assaulted will become homosexual.
Sexual orientation is not affected or influenced by sexual assault. Both homosexual and heterosexual men can be assaulted and can be perpetrators of assault.

Myth: Children who are sexually abused become abusers.
The majority of children who have been sexually abused don’t grow up to be abusers.

Myth: It’s a man’s right to have sex with his wife or partner whenever he wants.
Forcing any woman to have sex or perform sexual acts when she doesn’t want to is sexual assault.

Myths about rape distort the truth and focus blame on the survivors / victims. It’s important for all people to challenge myths about sexual assault so that survivors are not made to feel as if it’s their fault and they can receive the support they need while perpetrators are held accountable for their actions.